Hello Internet,

It is JEFF. I will post once a week talking about things like “how to edit” or um other stuff. Anyway, this is an introduction to me. I am JEFF, I like everything to be organised and neat. (Unlike Scarlett’s YouTube Channel “The Nova Constellation”.) That is all from me this week read next week’s post for more JEFF corner.
JEFF

Hello internet and welcome to the special edition long time no see (seriously sorry, I was busy and stuff) TV edition of tech time with Scarlett. Today we are going to be talking about sitcoms and why they  ruin peoples expectations of life. I personally am a big fan of many sitcoms, my favourites include: how I met your mother #barneystinson4life, friends #chandler4life, modern family #luke4life  and new girl #nick4life. There is one thing all these sitcoms have in common, they really exaggerate peoples views on love. Here are the top 5 ways in which sitcoms express love

1. saying to a partner “I love you.” This apparently is some special unmentionable word that can only be said really climactically in the 5th series of any sitcoms. Apart from in ted Mosby’s case when he blabs it out in the first episode (all the references were made that day). I don’t really see how this is such a big word as people in England can walk up to anyone they care about and say I love you” without them saying “falafel” by accident (I have a problem) I never really get them, I mean I say to my friends on quite a regular basis that I love them so why do American Sitcoms make such a big deal out of it.
2. moving in together. Much like the apparent problems with saying I love you this affect the sitcom world in a very big way. I don’t know about you but if I had a boyfriend who I hadn’t bribed into seeing me, I would want the whole dam world to know, so to prove the fact I had a boyfriend and not just an imaginary person living in my mind, I would ask him to move in pretty quick. Yet as soon as an American TV show comes out with a romantically involved couple, it takes them around 12 months before anything happens. Kinda weird considering you may want to marry this person in the future yet you cant even share a bed yet.
3.   this is quite a big one, how men see women. For normal men, they look for a woman that is the right size so that he can have kids with them and start a family. They don’t just look for girls to screw around with,For men in sitcoms boobs are the only thing they see, depriving them a chance to get to know the person inside, which I find to be quite rude and offensive but its funny so who cares? that seems to be the case for quite a lot of TV shows, the worst part is, they pull out all the stops to try and impress people, where as in real life a man would find a girl, take her out for dinner and tell the truth about himself, if the girl liked it then a relationship would be formed.
4. the final part to this blog is ending a relationship. This is also done in very eccentric ways for some shows, for some it is a massive fight, for others it is a moment of pure desperation and immediate depression, and most often it is something that people don’t want to do. I can understand not wanting to hurt peoples feelings and in some cases fights can be started after proposing a break up with someone, but I mean it’s hardly like they are going to throw a screaming fit after you tell someone that they need to take a break, also for some people seeing an ex again becomes a major problem, where as in the real world you become friends or if they are not in your group then you forget it happened and move onto other things hoping he or she does the same, none of the “i have to leave the room because my ex is here and I really cant see her because it is TOO MUCH … TOO MUCH!” because that would be considered stupid by almost the entirety of the people ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET! (it would be so much funnier if I actually said it with a big blond wig on and a weird posh accent)

well there we have it folks, once again thanks so much for reading and I hope you take some of my TV recommendations into account, I am excited to announce that to keep you all entertained a new co host of the website will be coming soon, so we can split who takes blogs to improve my punctuality as this blog was actually supposed to go up 3 days ago. Hope you all enjoyed and I will see you in the next one

Bubye xx

hello internet and welcome to a special quick update from scarlett, there will be an actual tech time with scarlett on Saturday once I have thought of new ideas. I wanted to talk about someone you are already familiar with My friend Jeff. I previously mentioned Jeff on one of my previous blogs after he inspired many more of you people to read my blog. That same friend is currently sick with a bad virus that I may or may not have given him. Nevertheless he has also been having some trouble with his leg and I wanted to tell him in this indirect way that I am very sorry and I hope he gets well soon. I feel really bad about giving you this bug and when you feel better I hope you will still be my friend. that’s all for now, my love to jeff and I will see all of you internet people on Saturday for tech time with scarlett

Bubye xx

hello once again internet and welcome to… tech time with Scarlett! in this weeks post we will be listing all appliances you really can’t live without. without further or do, lets start the show!

1. the fridge. yes of course you need a fridge, unless you are IMMENSLEY rich or very lazy, you all should have a fridge in your houses, you often see fridges with built in water fountains that I find to be AWESOME! as you can do multiple tasks around the fridge whilst waiting for a glass of iced water. the one thing I will never truly understand the purpose of is a mini fridge. I mean there are so many reasons why mini fridges are weird, with the most peculiar being its size, if you cant reach it from a standing height it should not be in your kitchen! even in hotels they are kind of stupid, who wants a little fridge full of nice cool drinks in your hotel room but you have to pay to drink them. useless, useless I say.
2. the oven. this links to the fridge as if you don’t have an oven you will be living off raw chicken and cold kidney beans, that is of course unless you are IMMENSLY rich or indeed very lazy, as we discussed earlier. Ovens always seem very complicated to me, why are there little balls on  squares on top of the nobs, why not just say ” this nob connects to the right hand one” I mean I love little balls but (no euphemism intended) signs or written instructions would indeed make everyone’s lives a lot easier. I think if I used an oven, I would burn my house down as a result of turning the wrong nob. however they can prove to be useful when in a situation by which you actually need to cook a salmon terrine for a party of 7.
3. time for a bit of gadgets because your here with Scarlett the tech dissing overlord. the phone. We have now become obsessed with phones and this time I am not going to blame anyone as that would make me a massive hypocrite. There are some things on a phone though that strike me as odd. for example what is the point of on an apple phone, to have a little bar at the bottom just to hold more things. We already have page upon page of space we can use to place crossy road or colour switch, so why cut off and add in a separate bar for NOTHING! another thing is this, why are phones getting so big? Why? we don’t need them to, whilst they are enabling us to see better we don’t need them that big. We are going to end up at some point with a phone the size of our house, maybe we should tone it down just a little…

and there we have it folks another installation of tech time with Scarlett the tech dissing overlord (I may have to start calling myself that now) thank you all very much for reading and I want to propose a proposition, yes I am very aware they are pretty much the same word I just thought it would add to the effect plus I ran out of words. From now on, every time I upload I am going to end with a question of the blog or QOTB for short, put your answers down in the comments below. My question for you is this, are there any appliances I haven’t mentioned that you cannot live without? Also one quick thing, me and a group of friends started a YouTube channel and I would be very happy if anyone could subscribe to it, I have a put a link here for you to our latest video and if you liked it then click like and subscribe, this isn’t me trying to brag, this is me trying to promote https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0E3wzFyhojvHsM5w3TVllw. Anyway see you all very soon!

Bubye xx

hello once again internet and welcome to another instalment of tech time with Scarlett. today we are going to be talking about video games, but not just any kind of video games, portal based video games. for those that need clarification on what a portal game is it is a game that requires a piece of plastic with a sensor that costs considerably more than the game, this enables you to spend even more money of individual characters in the game to place on the sensor which will then bring them to life, examples of portal games are Disney infinity, Sky landers and all of their sequels and the newest addition, Lego dimensions. with that said and done lets get this show on the road, quick hop onto the magic plastic portal with me…

1. lets start with the basics of portal games, the plot line, which most of these games are pretty lacking in. for example with Disney infinity, they are basically using the premise of Minecraft, but adding the expensive playset pieces of some of your favourite Disney classics, such as; the sequel to monsters inc from 2014, the lone ranger (because we have all seen that one) and, that classic kids movie that really gets nap time sorted, cars. with sky landers, they actually made independent missions, however they are very tedious to complete and involve you losing ALOT of health.
2. you all knew it was coming, but I did want to speak about PRICES. the one thing all of these portal games have in common is the amount of money spent in order to purchase such items, this may be due to the fact that they come in so many SEPARATE parts. you have the portal itself, the most expensive, then you have the characters, which you stock up on to, in some magical way, save money, then you have the game itself, which is actually the least expensive. this means that you are basically spending A LOT of money on the whole package, but hey if you have saved up, fine by me, I’m not stopping you from spending over £70.00 on the starter pack for some of these games…
3. finally I wanted to talk about the actual set up of these games. these games require a lot of rejigging whilst playing, the game I particularly wanted to draw attention to is lego dimensions.this game actually requires you to do some DIY by building your own portal, which you then use to play the actual game, WHAT!!! with the other games it involves you having to constantly get up and down and up and down and… you get the point, just to change the flipping characters! if you want to sit down and game with you bros or with your BOSSES! (both are references, just in case you were unsure) you might find it a little strenuous to keep getting up and down and… sorry, I’ll stop now. the point is that these games can be quite annoying when one of them dies and you have to get up and walk to the television to change the character, then spend hours choosing a new character from the 5 you actually own, before returning to your sofa and playing again for about ten minutes before your character dies again, then you must repeat the process over and over, in a VICIOUS CYCLE that never ends.

hello internet, welcome to another instalment of … story time with Scarlett, in this post I will be narrating a story for you, written by me. I hope you enjoy it. it is called I am a detective… this is my story (I was trying to be adventurous with the title). let me know if you enjoyed it in the comment section, anyway lets get moving !!!

“I am what you would call a detective. I solve crimes, smoke a pipe and don’t get paid enough. I am a mastermind, perhaps not Sherlock Holmes though as my pipe has been missing for over a month now, i guess this is my “memoir “if that’s what you want to call it. I can hear my colleagues (Sarah’s) voice rattling in my head “write a book” she said ” it will be a nice hobby for you” she said, well do you know what Sarah this was a terrible plan ! i did tell you multiple times, in fact i even rehearsed a list of over 14 different reasons for why this plan would not work and yet… i am still here and so are you by the looks of things. so this is my life, handed out to you on a silver platter, would you like an aperitif with that ? i am not going to bore you with the details of what i had for breakfast this morning or what a particular friend said to me on one particular evening as that information is irrelevant to you as a… reader? though why you haven’t put this book down yet is a question only Sherlock Holmes can answer. no in this “memoir” of mine i aim to provide you with the cold hard truth, 1947 was a dangerous time, especially in new York, and i was one of the miserable chumps who had to live with it. anyway enough chit chat, lets get on with this stupid book shall we? or we could just leave and… no? fine then, lets continue…

and there we have it folks another installation of (insert random activity here) with Scarlett, i am very sorry i have not been able to post these past few weeks, there have been terrible problems with my computer and the site but fear not dear viewer, they are all ok for now. i will see you all at the weekend for more tech dissing

Bubye xx

hello once again internet and welcome to yet another tech time with Scarlett. today we are going to be talking about ROBOTS! I have  a few questions concerning this particular branch of humanoid technology that I think we should be made aware of. lets go …

1. first up on the list is movies. particularly sci-fi and fantasy movies. these movie genres mention robots a lot but not always in the nicest ways. for example in the movie terminator, the whole premise is that there is a half man half robot who is programmed to kill this young woman. if we make robots and use them in our daily lives then what’s to stop them from programming the robots to turn around and kill us in our sleep, I don’t think I need to remind you that there are bad people in 2015 so it is a possibility. Even if that wasn’t a possibility it still gives the robots a bad reputation and makes people very paranoid about going to bed at night.
2. secondly is the possibility of the singularity. what I mean by the singularity is that there will come a time where scientists will become so advanced in technology that they will be able to fuse our bodies with machines and turn us into robots so that we can live forever. that is what I like to call MY WORST NIGHTMARE! I don’t know about you but if I was fused with metal and made into a machine I wouldn’t exactly be happy about it, it would mean that we would live for so long that eventually we would outlast the world and then there would be no more earth and worse still, you would have to watch the world die with absolutely no way of stopping it. that’s sad, also I don’t think metal would be a good look for me, it might make my butt look a little big. this blog is going to cross into the territory of things I like to call “deep stuff” so, you know if you don’t like “deep stuff then go check out the ten hour long version of the pink fluffy unicorn song and forget this blog exists, you still here? awesome then lets get on to the 3rd and final reason for why I don’t like robots
3. finally, roots are bad news because the growing science could become too dangerous. What I mean by this is the fact that there is always a downside to   technology in terms of how far technology will then propel after it is built, once robots have been built there’s no telling what scientists are gonna think of  next, the other downside would also be that scientists are not capable of dealing with the amount of new technology there is and then there would be a massive technological uprising with humanity and robots locked in a deadly battle, humans would perish, computers would smash, the world would be shattered and it would be all our fault. ok I think I need to get out of this rabbit hole and back… into the reality

hello once again internet, sorry I have been away for so long but I am back for a mega episode of tech time with Scarlett. this post is going to be purely based on some of the weirdest inventions I could ever find on google and we are going to see what random stuff we can find , strap yourselves in its about to get wild!

1. ok first on the list is just… well useless. it is the self stirring coffee mug. I mentioned this as a joke in one of my earlier blogs but I feel purposefully drawn to it every time I see it.  I am not really sure how it works but here is a picture to show you what I mean, its nice if you want to feel like you are staring into a black abyss every time you take a sip of your morning latte. really. really? all I will say is that you would have to be some very lazy person to want something that can stir your coffee for you, we used to go to space…

   

2. moving swiftly on to the next item, the next item is… wait WHAT. DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY USE THIS. God help us all ,the next item is an ipod speaker system that is also a toilet roll holder. I don’t even want to explain this,  I think we have all gone a bit power hungry with gadgets if we actually feel the need to make random stuff like this. Space people Space!

3. ok lets get out of that rabbit hole and onto the next invention. the next one I have for you fine ladies and gents is… PHONE fingers. ok seriously. to this I have one thing to say WE ALREADY HAVE FINGERS! sorry to the people reading who may have lost fingers but to the ten fingered people reading if you buy this you are just disgracing humankind! am I overreacting  am I am I? thought not. anyway here is a picture if you don’t know what I am talking about. they are said to stop smudges or fingerprints on your phone but if you care that much about your own fingers then I pity you…

4. 2 items to go and this one is a good one. this item is called  an ELECTric plane launcher. I get all excited and what do I get, damn it! no don’t worry, I can make this cool . ok so the electric plane launcher does exactly what it says on the tin/box. it launches planes out of the dispenser so you can uh… wow your friends at uh … oh I give up, this is absolutely useless. why people why. we made rockets, we made phones but no we definitely need a electric plane launcher no that’s  ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. ok lets get on to the final item before I lose my marbles.

5. our final item for today is the banana phone! ok this is where things just get ridiculous, when did it occur to people that we needed these things? were they just sitting on the internet and playing around with Photoshop when they created it? totally ridiculous and useless and … just grrrrrrr. I don’t know what humanity has become anymore, one minute we were normal and we had only the essential pieces of technology. nowadays its just chaotic, there are self stirring mugs over there, banana phones over here and when do we decide we have reached the limit? I fear for humanity…

well there you guys go that was the mega version of tech time with Scarlett! normally I would say that if you wanted to check out these pieces of tech click here but I really hope you guys don’t go looking for these things, if I have taught you guys one thing over these past few blogs I hope it is to never buy useless tech, lets try and keep that message true on this website . I hope you enjoy this segment and I will promise to upload at the weekend with 2 more tech time with Scarlett’s!! I know I know your heart can barely contain your excitement! have a nice week and I will see you all on Saturday

Bubye xx

hello once again internet and welcome to tech time with Scarlett. today we are going to be talking about apple TV. I actually have this software for my TV and whilst it is very cool and is yet another feat of technology, they have a few flaws which are definitely worth mentioning, let’s call it “constructive criticism.” ok lets get started!

1. the remote. the size of that remote is absolutely RIDICULOUSLY small. this means that every time I want to sit down and watch an episode of buffy the vampire slayer, we spend about 5 minutes rummaging under the sofa cushions trying to look for it. to give you a better image of what I’m talking about, here is the apple remote in full scale. see what I mean? it is absolutely tiny and seems to be just the right size to slip inside your sofa cushions.
2. the fact that you have to press the button twice. I am referring to the feature on the actual TV where you have to press the enter button twice to make sure you want to view it, come on, imagine this : you come home after a long, hard day at either work or school, you have a long hard night of studying but are rewarded for your struggles with the promise of an excellent meal. dinner time rolls around and the good news piles up where you hear the announcement that you will be eating the fantastic food in front of the telly. your heart is racing as you collect your serving and relax into your armchair, remote in hand you click the start button to commence your paradise, you put the remote down and settle, after a few minutes you start to realise that there is no sound coming out of the TV, you start to panic, you don’t want to get up but you know that for the TV to work you have to, slowly you get up to get the remote back, and then you muck it up. before you know it the food is everywhere, your parents are in tears and your furniture smells of garlic, all because of that one button. LIFE obliterated!! okay maybe not that bad but I will say that that extra button time will cause someone to chuck food everywhere at one point, whether its because of rage or because they are just losers. this button is dangerous to mankind!
3. last but not least, the non DVD element. you know what I mean. sure its great to have a tiny black box to get all the latest entertainment directly from iTunes, however what if you want to watch say (god forbid) a movie that’s pretty darn old, it may also be a recent movie that’s not very well known, you search through all of the streaming devices, including iTunes when you realise its not there, meaning that the only way you can play it is by… getting out the DVD unfortunately that means that you have to switch off the apple TV, switch over to another source and watch the DVD version whilst thinking about how much better the quality would be on your apple TV source. whilst I am not aware of that many movies that have such problems I am aware of lots of grandparents who come to babysit, bringing with them a DVD, its a vicious cycle.

hello once again internet and welcome to tech time with Scarlett, yeah this is a thing now. so today I am going to be talking about apple watches. whilst these amazing pieces of tech are brilliant and are sold worldwide, at ridiculous prices  (more on that later), they have  a few floors that I feel are worth mentioning, with that all said and done, on with the blog.

1. they re only useful for specific tasks. what I mean by that is because it is such a small gadget, it means that the things you can do with it are either very limited , or if you do try to do things such as replying to a message or an email will become very irritating and will result in you getting out your phone and checking it that way, so best bet is to just use your phone and save time. whilst they do enable them to zoom that doesn’t really help as much as they think it does and it still makes people have to look closely to  see what is going on.
2. they are very expensive. even a normal apple watch costs from as little as  *checks google* £349, this is a bit annoying considering what it actually is, like I said before it would be lot better to just check your phone. to make matters worse this is just the cheapest version of the apple watch, the cheapest, that means that there are other watches which cost significantly more than £349, making it very irritating for Christmas shoppers who are looking to surprise their girl/boyfriends with a fancy gadget, I am incredibly sorry to all you people.
3. finally and most significant of all, the calling feature. this device enables you to call your friends or relatives, but the process of this is kind of weird. I mean how are you supposed to talk, put your watch up to your ear? the main reason for phones was so they could answer calls or “phone” so maybe we don’t need them on a watch. primarily because we don’t want to look like weirdos trying to answer a call from your mate. now that practically everyone has a mobile phone in 2015 we should make them useful for something and not just little gadgets we buy for the sake of things like that self stirring mug you got your mum for her birthday last year.